What the Pastor Hopes You Heard
What the Pastor Hopes You Heard
Pastors have a heavy, yet beautiful call upon their lives to teach others the truth of God’s word and help lead others in that truth. Their longings are often a focus on the end result, not necessarily the process for getting there. So, often we as the parishioners, have to hear between the lines. Below are three concepts in which to hear between the lines.
1) What the pastor hopes you heard when he/she preached:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, you Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt. 6:14-15
While forgiveness is a biblical mandate, it is a process. It may not be something that you can do right at this very moment, but you can be working toward it.
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation, forgetting what has happened, restoring trust in the person whose betrayed you, or condoning the behavior. (Steve Arterburn Forgiveness: The Very Essence of our Faith)
Sometimes grieving must happen first before you can reach a place of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not easy. Sometimes it is a daily process (even minute by minute process!).
No matter where you are in the journey of forgiveness, if you are working towards it, God will honor and help you through the process.
Lysa Terkeurst in her book, Forgiving what You Can’t Forget, writes a beautiful prayer to help move towards a place a forgiveness:
“God, I give this situation to You. I release my evidence of all the reasons they were so wrong. I release my need to see this person punished. I release my need for an apology. I release my need for this to feel fair. I release my need for You to declare me right and them wrong. Show me what I need to learn from all this. And then give me Your peace in place of my anger.”
Trust me, this is a hard prayer to pray, but one that will be a beautiful fragrance to the Father and unshackle you from the hurt you feel.
2) What the pastor hopes you heard when he/she preached:
Parable of the Good Samaritan
“An expert of the law asked Jesus, ‘What must I do to inherit eternal life?’ The Lord replied, ‘What is written in the Law?’ [The expert] answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all strength and with all your mind; and ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’…But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus then told the parable of the Good Samaritan to show that those in need are our “neighbor.” – Luke 10:25-37
It is biblical to love others as Christ has loved us; however, sometimes, we are the ones who need to receive the love.
Sometimes we are the “man in the road.” We need to be cared for, we need the help, we need a good Samaritan.
We cannot give out of what we do not have. Sometimes we need a period of healing so that we one day can help a brother/sister who finds him/herself as the “man in the road.”
It is not a sin to ask for help, to receive help, to rest. But we can’t do that forever. We work towards healing so that we can give to others, and love others as Christ has loved and given for us.
3) What the pastor hopes you heard when he/she preached:
“Love one another: As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – John 13:34
“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” – Romans 12:10
“Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Gal. 5:14
While Christ has called us to love one another, loving each other does not mean we forgo our boundaries, nor does it mean we sin when we set boundaries respectfully.
Loving others does not mean we ignore, tolerate, endure abuse.
Loving others does not mean reconciliation. We can love others, but sometimes we have to love others from a distance because of their inability to respect our boundaries or because of their toxicity.
Loving others does not mean we deny self to the point of depletion, to the point where we have nothing else to give.
Love does not mean that we can’t say “No.”
Loving others doesn’t mean we can’t love ourselves.
For some, we have never been given a chance to love ourselves, or we don’t believe we are deserving of love. Therefore, we love out of a very shallow well. We become depleted quickly, which can result in resentment and bitterness, which, in turn, leaves us struggling to forgive. Know that God absolutely thinks your deserving of love or he would not have sent his son to die for you. You are his child, “A royal priesthood belonging to God” (1 Peter 2:9).
1 Corinthians 13 is a beautiful definition of love. It often is preached in respect to loving others, in which that is the context in which it was written. But, again, how well can we love others, if we can’t even love ourselves. God provided this word to me while working with a client struggling with this very issue. What would it be like if we allowed ourselves to experience the love 1 Corinthians 13 offers:
Are you large and incredibly patient with yourself? Are you gentle and consistently kind to yourself? Do you accept yourself or do you compare yourself to others? Do you hide behind your achievements or inflate your own importance for fear of rejection? Do you traffic in shame and disrespect yourself? Do you disregard love for you? Are you easily irritated or quick to take offense to yourself and/or mistakes? Do you joyfully celebrate honesty in you and find no delight in what is wrong? Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others or self. Do you accept and love you without defeat, without giving up?
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 TPT
It is important always to follow the truth of God’s word. Remember, that the pastor is a man or woman called to deliver God’s truth. He or she may not always address the message between the lines, but it is there. God sees your heart; he knows your tears. When any of these concepts are difficult for you, cry out to him for guidance, go to him for rest. And know that we are here for you as well on your journey of hope and healing.